6 ways Bette Davis can inspire your pole dancing style and your life

1.  Don’t be afraid to act like a bad girl

Bette Davis was know for her “willingness to play unsympathetic roles.” Some of her most acclaimed characters were an adulterous murderer, a Jezebel, and a prostitute.

Give yourself the time and space to play with the darker parts of your personality. Everybody has them.  Don’t bottle your emotions when you feel angry, powerful, or hungry for something naughty. Accept them. Welcome them. You can still feel your authentic nature without responding or acting in a negative manner. Instead cultivate your Femme Fatale, your Huntress, your Evil Queen.  There’s nothing wrong with playing in the dirt as long as you define the safety rules first and remember to take a shower when you are done.

When I feel like a Woman on the prowl I listen to If by Janet Jackson, Fully Alive by Flyleaf, and Cry Little Sister by G Tom Mac.

2.  Find your own sex appeal

Bette Davis was known for her lusciously riveting eyes and fought to ensure the lighting of every film emphasized her most well known feature.  However, she often remarked that she had built her career, not with her beauty, but by being tough and passionate about personal excellence. Jack Warner (of Warner Brothers) said she had that “magic quality that transformed this sometimes bland and not beautiful little girl into a great artist.”

You are sexy. I absolutely know this already, without ever laying my eyes on you.  However, I don’t know WHAT is sexy about you.

For years, I struggled with my own sensuality.  I felt ugly and very un-charismatic.  I became so depressed with my body image that I gained 70lbs to ensure that no man would ever touch me again (meaning I went from a size 12 to size 18).  But one day, I decided that I liked my ass. Even if I was overweight, I still had sexy curvy hips and a lovely bum.  Day after day, I built on that positive feeling.  I found jeans that showed off my ass.  I wore shirts that hugged my hourglass waist.   I pole danced to music that made me want to swing and sway my hips.

Over time, I recognized more features that made me feel sexy.  My long hair, my earthy brown eyes, my strong shoulders.  With each discovery, I felt better about myself and created more ways to enjoy my body exactly as it is–Like using the Hurricane Hips to strengthen my abs and show off my bootay!  The most amazing side effect is that, by loving my ass, I’ve learned how to take care of my body, lost the weight, and gained more strength and flexibility than I ever had before.  Find Your Bette.  Find something to love about yourself and let your sex appeal grow from there. If I can do this, you can do this!

3.  Accept tribute and compliments with grace and style

When Kim Carne’s wrote “Betty Davis’ Eyes” Bette Davis wrote thank you notes to Kim Carne and the songwriters. She even hung the gold and platinum records, a gift from Kim, on her wall.

Do you respond to compliments by telling the person that they are crazy or blind?  Or perhaps you assume that they are only complimenting you because they want something from you.  Please, please, please don’t do this anymore.  Give yourself permission to accept compliments without judgment. Recognize that, although you may not agree (perhaps because you need to read Rule #4 again), the person complimenting you is giving you a gift–that they are grateful to know you, to share time with you, to enjoy your company.  And the best way to respond to such a gift is to continue sharing your amazing, beautiful, authentic self.

The next time you dance for an audience, accept their praise as the gift of gratitude, smile, and say “Thank You” like the sexy Minx you are!

4. Be true to yourself and not to your critics

In “Of Human Bondage”, Bette Davis fought for an authentic death scene no matter how unglamorous.  She said, “the last stages of consumption, poverty and neglect are not pretty and I intended to be convincing-looking.”

If there is only ONE thing you get from this article, get this: Being your Authentic Self in every moment is the most powerful way to effect the world and enjoy your life. Don’t dampen your personality and pretend to be someone else.  Don’t put on a mask to please your coworkers, family, or friends.  Let go of anyone who doesn’t encourage you to be exactly who you are.

Real life usually isn’t glamorous, but it is always powerful. You can tell the difference between passionate action and apathy.  Let your authentic power shine through your face, your body, and your movements.  Let you emotions explode out while you dance.  If you need to pound on the floor in agony, do it.  If you need to smile in the blissful throws of a spinning flight around the pole, then grin like a mother fucking idiot.  The world can tell the Truth from a plastic imitation.  So, don’t fake an orgasm, don’t dance what you don’t feel, and don’t apologize for who you are.

5.  Live life beyond the routine

Bette Davis worked in every genre in Hollywood, television, and Broadway including contemporary crime dramas, historical, period films, comedies, & romantic dramas.  She said that throughout her career she had followed Charles Loughton advice…

“Never not dare to hang yourself. That’s the only way you grow in your profession. You must continually attempt things that you think are beyond you, or you get into a complete rut.”

Challenge yourself and your limits. If you always dance in t-shirts, put on a bikini top instead.  If you always dance to country music, throw on Beautiful by Eminem.  If you usually dance in the dark, turn on all the lights and dance at high noon. Question your own inhibitions.  Don’t let the need for security, the status quo, and fear of change, suffocate your personal style.

If you need help breaking through the box & developing your dance style, try one of my Improvisational Dance Challenges.  If you need help busting your own limiting beliefs in life then check out The Sedona Method or the ReCreate Your Life program.  These two simple methods have helped me break through my own emotional barriers to find the passion to follow my dreams. (I’m not kidding)

6.  Wanting your dreams isn’t enough–Make them happen.

For her first 4 years in Hollywood, Bette Davis was said to have “lovely eyes” but about “as much sex appeal as Slim Southerland,” (an unattractive male actor of the 40s). But in 1934, after over 20 (unnoticed) film roles, she played the vicious Mildred Rogers in “Of Human Bondage”, which was described as “probably the best performance ever recorded on the screen by a U.S. actress.”

She continued her illustrious, yet sometimes rocky career until 1983, when she developed breast cancer.  But in 1985, she overcame a mastectomy, four strokes, and paralysis in her left side to star in 4 more films and received the Kennedy Center Honor, the Legion of Honor from France, the Campione d’Italia from Italy and the Film Society of Lincoln Center Lifetime Achievement Award.  In fact, over her lifetime, she was nominated for an Oscar a stunning 10 times, a feat only 4 other actors have ever achieved.

Bette Davis said that she didn’t commit to her career as an actress until 1926 when she saw a production of Henrik Ibsen’s The Wild Duck with Blanche Yurka and Peg Entwistle…

Before that performance I wanted to be an actress,” Bette said, “ When it ended, I had to be an actress.”

I believe that everyone has a life purpose that only they can define.  But just because you know what you want, doesn’t mean that you have committed to it.  Commitment requires daily, monthly, and yearly action and usually a leap of faith or two.  It takes the understanding that you can’t just sit around and wait for your dreams to come true.  You have to take one step after another and make them come true. Mistakes are just the mileposts of learning, NOT an indication that you are on the wrong path.

If you want to learn how to invert, you are going to have to put in the time and effort to make your abs strong.  If you want to do the splits, you are going to have to stretch or do yoga every week.  If you want to be a writer, you are going to have to write & edit your work daily (this is a little reminder for me too 🙂  You might even need to call on a professional instructor who can help motivate you and teach you the tips, tricks, and techniques you need to get to the next level. Success requires that you translate your passionate dreams into committed action, RIGHT NOW.

“To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be given a chance to create, is the meat and potatoes of life. The money is the gravy. ”

“My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose.“

“ — Bette Davis